


The Art of Letting Go

by yawnwonu



Series: The Art of Loving [1]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Break Up, Emotional Hurt, Hurt, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Mentioned Do Kyungsoo | D.O, i cried while writing this so..., prepare tissues if you’re a crybaby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-27
Updated: 2019-12-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:54:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21987715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yawnwonu/pseuds/yawnwonu
Summary: Maybe love isn’t really enough, especially if you’re the only one who’s doing the ‘loving’.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol
Series: The Art of Loving [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1582816
Comments: 4
Kudos: 11





	The Art of Letting Go

**Author's Note:**

> Republishing this as chanbaek for personal gratification. ✌🏼 If you saw this fic here/ on twt before.... read it again! Kidding! Enjoy loves 😘
> 
> • this is a 3-part fic so tune in for more! 😊

Early mornings has been Baekhyun’s favourite part of the day. It is when he’s able to stare at his boyfriend sleeping while the subtle rays of the sun illuminateshis beautiful face.

That’s what he would be doing now.... if only his boyfriend was there. But it has been weeks since he started waking up to the unfamiliar coldness on the other side of the bed. His boyfriend, his Chanyeol, has not been sleeping with him. 

A sharp pang which has been recurring had hit his chest again. The first time he felt like there is something drilling on his chest was weeks ago. He cried so much hoping that it would go away, but it did not. Just like how Chanyeol didn’t help get the pain away like he always does- like he always did. 

He stayed in bed for a long time.. not minding the routine he’s supposed to do and the classes he’s supposed to attend. 

‘When did it start?’ He thought. Chanyeol and him had always been the envy of everyone. They are afterall childhood friends, high school sweethearts, and future husbands- that is what everyone thought.. including him. He always dreamed of having Chanyeol as his husband in the future, he did not even plan it because he thinks it is what the future holds for them.. Isn’t it prerogative that it would be the next step for them? 

His thoughts are all over the place when he heard the door opened and the face he had not seen for days had appeared. His Chanyeol had come home- he come home to him. 

“I didn’t thought you’d still be here”that’s what his boyfriend said but the only thing that he heard was the sound of his heart breaking. He wants to cry, shout, be mad, and demand explanations but he tried his hardest to smile. 

“Yeah, i overslept” he forced the words out of his throat. He doesn’t want to scare Chanyeol away. He doesn’t want him to think that he is doubting him and their love for each other right now. 

“Ahh..” the other boy just said not even sparing him a glance. As he waltz into their bathroom and he could do nothing but to stare at his boyfriend’s back remembering how it felt to have his head rest on it. 

When did it start really.. he was aware. He’s not an idiot like everybody claims him to be. He noticed how Chanyeol’s smiles slowly lose it shine. How his eyes that reflected so much love slowly become filled with nothingness. He noticed, but he did not want to address it. He did not want to acknowledge that what they have is slowly fading away from his grasp. He did not want to admit that the person who told him would never let go, was the one who left without a fight. Without telling him that he is losing, the love, the fight, their relationship. 

“Babe...” he let the word roll in his tongue. It felt foreign, the word he used to utter a thousand times a day become something that he is not sure if he is still allowed to say. 

Chanyeol has just come out from the bathroom, yet again not sparing him a glance. 

“Chan.....yeol” when was the last time he addressed his boyfriend with his name? When they’re still kids? In highschool? when they tease each other? His own thoughts is hurting him so much and he felt like it is unfair. Why is it only him that’s hurting? Why is Chanyeol letting him be hurt? Why?

“You’ve not been going home for a long time” he tried his hardest to stabilize his voice. Not letting Chanyeol feel his pain which the other guy probably wont notice even if his voice is cracking just a little. 

“Research. Stayed at groupmate’s house.” He answered while his attention was focused on his phone. 

“Would you be home tonight?” He asked even if he knows the answer to the damn question. He likes to hurt himself really. ‘Im an idiot’ he thought.

“No, i’ll be going out-“

“With Kyungsoo?” He cut his boyfriend’s words with slightly louder voice than he wanted it to be. 

“H-how-“ his boyfriend finally looked at him with emotions in his eyes, emotions that weren’t the one Baekhyun has been longing to see in his boyfriend’s eyes.

“Is he the one who’s been robbing your smiles away from me? Is he the one sucking all those emotions in your eyes that’s why you’ve been staring blanky at me? Is he the one who’s bed is warm while mine has been cold since you’ve been away?” He continued blabbering his pent up emotions that has been hurting him for weeks. He didnt even let his boyfriend get a word in if only he wanted to speak. 

“Is he... has he stolen you away from me?” His tears are a bunch of traitors because right now, as if on cue, his tears started running on his face like there’s a marathon that needs completion and being a crying mess would make him a winner- but in this case it’s not. 

Silence filled the room making Baek’s cries reverb with the pain in his heart. Chanyeol hasn’t said anything, and that moment Baekhyun panicked. ‘I scared him, this is all my fault’ he thought as he frantically looked at his boyfriend.

“B-babe, i... i didn’t mean anything i said okay. Maybe im just not in the mood because i’ve missed my classes? You know me ha ha. I’m just cranky today. Have you eaten?” He tried to erase the tension in the air but his throat is constricting and the lump that he feels made his voice shake and his eyes have not stopped crying and he just wanted to gauge his eyes out for it to stop. 

Chanyeol continued being silent with his head tilting down on the floor. 

“You know im an idiot right? Everybody says so. I’m just being my idiot self again. Don’t worry about it okay? We’re ... okay? Right?” He sounds hopeful with his question praying that Chanyeol would just say yes. Because even though he knows the answer, if his boyfriend would still go to him, come home to him, he would accept him. No questions asked. 

“I’m sorry” was the only words that came out of his boyfriend’s lips. No explanation, no heartbreaking speeches but the words were so powerful Baekhyun literally saw his future break. His fairytale bubble that has been his whole life shattered just by the simple i’m sorry that his boyfriend now ex-boyfriend has uttered. 

He stared at his Chanyeol’s eyes prepared to pour his heart out and beg him to stay. But the moment he met the other’s eyes, he knew. He knew that what they had was already gone. His Chanyeol isn’t his anymore and the once love-filled eyes is now staring at him with no love but just nothingness. He doesnt even see a trace of regret because if there is, Baekhyun would have been on his knees right now begging for Chanyeol to stay. Beg him to extend his fairytale bubble once more so he could prepare for the heartbreak that he is experiencing now. 

The knees that were ready to beg are now as weak as everything else in his body. He lost the fight without even starting to fight for it. Chanyeol is unfair, since when has he been so unfair?

“What do you want me to do Yeollie? I’d do it.. i’ll do everything for you just like how i’ve been doing.” That’s what keep their relationship going.. him doing everything Chanyeol wanted, and Chanyeol doing the same for him. 

Since he is the one who’s still inlove right now.. technically he still have to do what Chanyeol wanted him to do. That’s how it is, that is how much he love the guy.

“Will you please let me go?” Chanyeol’s tone is something foreign in his ears. He is begging him to let go, he is begging.. The guy has never begged him for anything during their 5 years of relationship because he readily gives him everything and vice versa. 

“Why are you begging? You know i would give you the world if that’s what would make you happy right? If removing me from your life would bring back the sunshine in you.. you know i’d do it right? Without you begging me to do it.” He tried to laugh but he failed miserably. He sniffles and sobs after saying those words. He doesnt want to hurt Chanyeol. 

The only emotions that Chanyeol should feel is happiness. Happiness suits Chanyeol more. And now that he got the solution to his conundrum, he would even [not] happily, he would comply. 

“Hey, i’m letting you go..” his words trailed off making him afraid that he might take his words back. Chanyeol stared at him to affirm his decision. And seeing that the other already let go of him, Chanyeol just gave him a small nod and a short smile before leaving him with silence in the room. 

That’s it. That’s how they ended their relationship. No shouting, no painful exchange of words, no explanations even. This is not how their breakups should happen but how should it? Baekhyun never even thought of a scenario of them breaking up. Because he never thought of them not loving each other for a second. 

‘Stupid fucking idiot Chanyeol’ he could only curse him inside his head because even though the guy did not explain, he understood everything that happened. He understood why Chanyeol ended their relationship, he understood.. but he doesn’t know the reason why. 

‘What even is letting go of him. Fucking idiot’ he know he said yes but letting go of the person who has your whole damn heart doesn’t mean he has to let go of his feelings too. Letting him leave is easy but removing the guy from his heart would be another fight he has to go through and that he has to go through alone. 

_ “Now here it comes, the hardest part of all _

_ Unchain my heart that's holding on _

_ How do I start to live my life alone? _

_ Guess I'm just learning, _

_ Learning the art of letting go.” _

** *music: the Art of Letting Go by Makaila* **

**Author's Note:**

> I dont proofread so there are probably a lot of grammatical errors, sorry for that. I tend to be very lazy when it comes to that. Sorry sorry sorry *tan tan tan tanan tan tanan tan* 🎶


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